Part IV

My beautiful seeker …

your journey has no absolute or conclusive destination as its goal

and your awakening is neither a given nor a free gift

it can only be achieved

step by step   experience upon experience

 slowly

as you will learn to untangle

from centuries of spiritual and emotional shackles

you will experience being part of the whole to which you always belonged

you will be awakened to the grand relationship within and without you

 this journey cannot be purchased with gold

it can only be paid with determination   sincerity and love

 

it is a journey filled with endless possibilities and potentials

with your determination

your heart will be inflamed to live life with fiery passion

with your sincerity and love

you will spark life in your body

that you may live in shameless sensuality

recognizing and embracing the sexual and creative being that you are

 

remember  I am within each and everyone of you

existing in each cell and molecule of your body and mind

and I await your call

 

but hear me out

to experience me you need to quiet your mind and listen

not because I am the ultimate god but because the chatter is noisy and empty

and while it is chattering at you all you should  and should-not do

you cannot hear yourself

you cannot hear your heart or soul  telling you how to nourish that which you are

 

understand this….

your personal ethics

belong to you and you only

they are your internal edicts

and when you do not follow them

you proceed against yourself

your morals are external and are set by your society

often your moral and ethics agree  but at times they do not

get to know your true ethics

and find what resides in your heart of hearts—

 

I am not talking about blind resistance to authority

or acquiescence to “poplar trends”

I am talking about    what you inwardly know to be your personal truth

and if you have spent too much time hiding from your truth

take time and uncover the beauty of your heart

for if you don’t

how will you ever know the wonder that you are?

 

What am I talking about you ask?

do you remember that quiet dark space

hidden within the inner depths of your body

the jeweled heart of hearts you rarely unearth to look at?

at times you encounter it just before you slip into your slumber

but you spend your days avoiding it doing busy work or numbing out

it’s the one that twinges within your gut

when you go against yourself

it’s the one that tears

when you sell your soul to anything exoteric

in hopes of feeling good about yourself

or valuable or capable or strong or good enough or ok or…

 

 and within you freedom patiently awaits

 

what am I talking about?

if you are quiet you will hear

the hollow feeling at the pit of your stomach

and that hoarse whisper when you attack your body and your soul

with too much or too little food exercise work sleep sex drugs….

 I am talking about the dry salty tears and the anguish in your heart

when you look around at all your things

and still feel empty lonely and unfulfilled

 

yet within you freedom quietly awaits

 

what am I talking about?

I am talking about

following human made rules with no questions

education requiring no thinking and settling for mediocrity

I am talking about

a planet filled with slumbering estranged humans

ever fearful of change  frozen in the grips of fear

I am talking about waking up!

 

for within you all freedom knowingly awaits.

 

Part V

where do you find me?

why within you of course

 now

still yourself and feel me in your body

sense me in your mind

express me through your words

paintings poems songs and dances

with each breath that you take remember me

for I am in all that you do

every thought movement and action

 

and where else will you find me?

I am in your

neighbor lover spouse child and even your outlaws

I am also in the forests oceans and animals

I am everywhere and in everything

I am what binds your molecules and thoughts

the connector of all that is and all that is not

I am order and I am chaos

I am inside and outside

 

you will find me

in the stars moon and sun

I am I am not

I am all I am nothing

I am both

I am black white and grey

dark light and somewhere in between

I am the virgin and the whore

female male woman and man

I am queen king and serf

I am love fear

and all that is in between

and when finally you face me

embracing all that I am

you will at last see

Us

and know peace

I am the relationship creature

and

I go by many names

 

Tamar