As a woman who grew up in conflict – both in my country and in my family—I feel well suited, perhaps even destined, to be interested in and motivated by the quest for
understanding, peace, and harmony in relationship.

My life journey – personally and professionally – has been defined by two fundamental questions:

1. Why don’t we get along better?
2. What can we do to get along better?

This blog, therefore, is devoted to passionate inquiry and personal and collective exploration. Through personal anecdotes and stories, observations, opinions, and discussion, I hope to offer an entirely new way of looking at and approaching the concept of ‘relationship.’

What is a healthy relationship? Who are we inside relationship? How do we bring the best of who we are to relationship? How do we create a healthier relationship with ourselves? How can we see that our contribution to relationships has value?

How can we experience life more positively? How can we make peace in relationships even when the ‘other side’ refuses to make peace with us? How do we choose for love in the face of anger? How do we become respond-able for our part in conflicts without being caught up in the guilt circle? How do we allow others their truth without giving up our own? How can we play as equals in life? How do we stop participating with the belief that if I win you lose and vice versa or if I am right you are wrong? How can we see beyond the right wrong model that we live with in our world…both in our external and internal world? How can we have some peace of mind and share it?

These are some of the questions I grapple with everyday as I do my best to live and create peace, understanding and happiness for myself and help others achieve the same.

The bedrock of my philosophy and what this blog is based on is the notion of the relationship creature (see what is the relationship creature?).  This is a concept that is both simple and complex at the same time. It is information that I feel compelled to share with people, as it sheds light hence understanding as to why we behave in certain ways. And so, in this blog I would like to share opinions, stories and learning that I have gained throughout the last thirty years.

The other goal for this blog is that I would like to compile the information I write here and create a book about the relationship. Consequently, I am hoping that those of you who feel called will ask questions, comment and give feed back about the information.

The concept of the relationship creature is not my own—it was given to me and many other students by “the story teller”, who has been my inspiration on this topic for many years. What is mine is the way I interpret the information and put it together.

I invite everyone to use this information as much as possible and pass it along as you see fit. My only request is that anyone quoting directly from the posts…please give the blog and author its due credit.

Since one of the main tenants of the creature is that everything in life is connected,  I will include in this blog the big happenings in my life, such as my trip to South East Asia and whatever else that maybe connected to my life and work.

In-joy,

Tamar June 2011